• How to Add Value to the People You Meet


    Eat Candy!

    Wear Yoga pants all day and don’t DO Yoga!

    As someone who’s trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up, those are just a few of the answers I want to say when people ask me, “What do YOU do?”

    Self consciousness creeps in and I can almost visualize the measuring stick they’re hiding.

    I confess!

    I’ve asked this question too many times.

    Do I ask in the hope of meeting someone with a fascinating career like “Treasure Hunter” or “Dog Bark Interpreter”?

    What if you can’t talk about your job? (Super Secret Spy!!!)

    Or your family is struggling because you or your spouse were laid off.

    What’s the real question?

    • Do we have something in common?
    • Do you have an interesting career that I would enjoy hearing about
    • Are you worth talking to while my feet are KILLING ME in these heels??

    Wouldn’t dinner parties be so much easier to navigate if they had designated areas.

    “Come on in!

    If you’d like to talk about your job, please head to the breakfast area.

    If you’re unsure about where you fit in the world or would like to meet interesting people in spite of what they do to support their families and who came here to NOT talk about their job; grab a seat on the couch…and enjoy some CAKE!”  (Guess where I’ll be!)

    What if we asked a different question?

    • What do you enjoy doing?
    • What do you wish you were doing right now? (THAT would be an interesting discussion!)
    • Are you a Super Secret Spy? (Hint. If they say NO it’s because if they answer YES your life would be in mortal danger! How FUN would That be!!!)
    • Can you tell I’m wearing Spanx under this dress? (Ask this ONLY if you really want to know the answer)
    • OR: Slip them a note that reads, “Do you want to be friends?”

    I did an “experiment” the other day! (Imagine evil villain laughter)

    I met someone new and purposefully asked her, “What do you like to do for fun?”

    *Full transparency: This did NOT go over well.

    3 reasons I’m glad I asked in spite of the outcome.

    1.  I was fully present in the conversation.
    2. I had to be mindful of asking a question that would be of value.
    3. I was intentional in creating connection with someone new.

    What struck me was how uncomfortable she was in anticipating the “What do YOU do” question of DOOM!

    I know what that feels like.


    My name is Rebecca and I have no marketable skills and feel self-conscious in new situations because of my lack of financial contribution to society!

    Sometimes I want to hand out a flyer in social situations:

    Happily married woman over 40 looking to meet people to form worthwhile relationships.

    Bad at hiding my facial expressions, have trouble containing my excitement when I see CAKE, and cry at Hallmark commercials.

    I like to have fun except when it involves heights, fast rides, weird food, or wearing Spanx.

    To learn more, head over to the couch…I hear there’s CAKE!

    Here’s the TRUTH.

    You are more than your job title.

    Your worth is not based on what you have/have not “achieved”.

    I was reading  Holley Gerth’s You’re Already Amazing: LifeGrowth Guide, and came across this:

    “All the Roles we have in this life are TEMPORARY! Who God made you is eternal.”

    That’s so good, Holley!

    We all go through seasons of life.

    Sometimes, what we “DO” is more in line with our passions, talents, skills, and desires.

    Other times we are walking in obedience in spite of what we would LIKE to be pursuing.

    BUT it doesn’t change WHO we are.

    Add Value to the people you meetThe next time you find yourself about to ask “What do YOU do?”

    • Ask: What do you LOVE to do?
    • What is the best advice someone gave you?
    • What is something you have always wanted to do?
    • Have you ever thought about becoming a Super Secret Spy?


     What would you LOVE to ask people instead of the dreaded question of DOOM?



  • How Do You Measure Up To The Truth?

    Do you carry around a measuring stick?Do you carry around a measuring stick?

    Last Friday I introduced you to Kaye Wilson.

    She is a beautiful, intelligent, well-educated, capable woman.

    She has 5 wonderful children, plays the piano, speaks french, and is a certified parenting coach. (which means she literally “knows” how to parent, right?)

    If I put my measuring stick between the 2 of us, I come up short!


    Kaye 5 / Rebecca- 1


    Kaye- well-educated /Rebecca -never finished college

    Gifts and Talents

    Kaye- piano and fluent in French

    Rebecca- quit french horn in High School and after 2 years of French class, can only say, “Hello, friend.” and “How are you”.

    Even though Kaye far surpasses me when measured, she and I have something in common.

    We have struggled with self-confidence.

    My husband I attended the Army Ball a few years ago.

    I bought a beautiful dress, amazing shoes (that tortured my feet), and was having an epic hair day!

    I lost some weight, firmed up and felt sassy!

    The Husband was all decked out in his Dress Uniform! (Hello Soldier, wanna make out in the elevator?)

    As the evening progressed, the time came for a potty break.

    Fix the makeup, tuck everything BACK into the Spanx, (it’s amazing how “stuff” migrates out-of-place) and make sure my hair hadn’t deflated.

    As I walked towards the bathroom, I saw a woman looking at me with her eyes WIDE OPEN!  It took me a moment, but then I realized.

    We were wearing THE SAME DRESS!! (Raise your hand if you’ve had that happen!)

    I could have smiled, said something witty, and shrugged it off.

    Wanna Guess what I did???

    I took out my measuring stick. (Not literally! No room left in my Spanx.)

    She was taller, younger, thinner, and looked amazing in “our” dress.

    The rest of the night, I made sure I didn’t get too close to her.

    If I did, everyone else would find out what I already knew.

    I didn’t measure up.

    Break the measuring stick of comparison. Click To Tweet

    Measure up to what?

    Cindy Bultema recently said, “Satan may tell you what is true, but he will never tell the Capital T Truth.”

    What does that mean?

    It’s true that she was taller, younger, and thinner.

    Does that make her more valuable than I am?

    What if it was the other way around?

    Would being younger, thinner, and taller make ME more significant?

    Of course not!

    Thinking it doesn’t make it true.

    Even if it IS true, is it the “Capital T” Truth?

    We are His workmanship

    What is the “Capital T” Truth?

    You were created in His image. (Genesis 1:27)

    You were fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14)

    You have value. (Matthew 10:31)

    You have been saved by grace. (Ephesians 2:8)

    You have security in Christ. (Romans 8:39)

    You are the light of the world. (Matthew 5:14)

    You have a glorious future. (Romans 8:18)

    Undoing 41 years of listening to things that may be true (or complete lies) but aren’t the Capital T Truth is difficult.

    Acknowledging brokenness without restoration is uncomfortable.

    That is what this season of my life is about.

    Who do I believe I am and does that line up with the Truth?

    Am I willing to walk in a manner worthy of my calling?

    Are you?






  • How to Sow Good Seed in your Life

    Good SeedThe moment I heard the phrase “Good Seed”, my brain started firing on all cylinders!

    (Hard to do without SUGAR!)

    How do you determine “good seed”?

    I asked my Dad since he works in the seed business. (I Promise…I didn’t even plan it to work out this way!)

    He said, “Through trial, observation, and experience.”

    Gosh dad. I didn’t realize you were gonna be THAT awesome!

    Customers rely on my dad to use his 50+ years of experience, his observations, and the trials the seed goes through before it is proven “good”.

    3 ways to determine good seed.

    #1 Through trial

    We are going to have trials.

    How I wish this wasn’t true! There are no Cliff notes for this.

    Just as seed has to be tested BEFORE my dad recommends it to his customers, so do we.

    Trials are a necessary part of our growth.

    #2 Observation

    Looking back over my trials, I have observed the very best of myself AND times I still cringe when I remember how I reacted.

    Either way, observation is KEY to determining good seed.

    What did I learn?

    What would I do differently?

    What would I WANT someone to say to ME when __happens?

    Sometimes, failing is the best observation.

    I know PLENTY of ways to NOT be helpful, encouraging, and uplifting to others.


    Because I have MASTERED failure!

    There are a few times I have passed.

    I hold those very dear.

    It gives me strength going into the NEXT trial.

    #3 Experience

    Sharing your experience is difficult.

    “Fake it ’till you make it” is a popular saying for a reason!

    I recently heard Michele Cushatt say, “Perfection does not create connection”.

    How true that is!

    Do you remember how much it helped when someone walked with YOU during a trial?

    OR how alone you felt when no one did?

    Take your trials, what you’ve learned, and use those experiences to encourage others.

    Use your trials and experience to encourage others that are struggling.




  • 5 Steps to Plan on Purpose

    Steps on PurposeWhen my “Now What” question started to creep in, I had to take a hard look at where I’ve been and where I WANT to go.

    (Hopefully not too far since I will be wearing my yoga pants)

    What is my OVERALL goal?

    What do I need to change?

    I don’t know about you, but when I have “too much” to do I shut down!

    I was listening to Michael Hyatt’s podcast the other day and he said, “When you are OVERWHELMED with what you need to do, just do the next RIGHT thing.”

    I needed to stop thinking about ALL of it and reign in my focus.

    With prayer and honesty with myself, I’ve implemented 5 steps to plan this year on purpose!
    Since we’re friends, I thought I’d share them with y’all.

    5 Steps to Plan on Purpose

    1. Set Your intention

    Know the WHY behind the plan. What matters most?

    For me, knowing how I want my LIFE to look overall made a HUGE shift in me.

    I wrote out what a “perfect” day looks like.

    Not a “sipping Sangria on the beach” kind of day…but a REAL wake up to bedtime regular day.
    I have it written down to compare to when I plan.

    2. Pick 1 area of focus

    Is there a time of day you want to change?

    Is there a time of MONTH that is difficult?

    Baby steps!

    Mine is MORNINGS!!

    I am NOT a morning person. (As in…”Please do not make me function before 9am”)

    I have to take that thought captive!

    WHY am I not a morning person?  Do I LIKE feeling rushed trying to get out the door?

    Once you’ve made good headway with 1 area, move on to the next.

    You will have “proven results” to keep you motivated.

    Keep it small and on PURPOSE!

    3. Write it DOWN

    (see #1) What needs to happen and at when?

    Be realistic.

    Since my struggle is morning time, I have to look at what I want to do before appointments, homeschooling and family obligations.

    Yes… I’m sure I COULD be showered and out the door in 20 minutes, but is that realistic?

    4. Regroup/Review/Revise

    Schedule time to look over your plan.

    What went well?

    What did you forget to account for?

    Treat it as a social experiment.

    I forgot how much I LOVE peaceful mornings. Now I look forward to mornings because I know I’ll get 30 minutes of peace and quiet BEFORE my day begins.

    If something isn’t working, change it before it becomes a NEW bad habit!

    5. Give yourself GRACE

    Stuff happens!

    The kid will get sick or the dogs will poop on the carpet (or BOTH).

    Recognize it for what it is!

    This one is difficult for me.

    I am quick to “scold” myself when my plan doesn’t go as planned.

    I continually remind myself that I am making progress. I am learning and growing more purposeful.

    Joanna Gaines has a saying, ” Every Day is a Good Day for a Good Day!”

    Give yourself a do-over! Every day is a good day for a Do-Over! Click To Tweet

    Are you trying to tame your morning (like me) or struggle with another aspect of your routine?

    I challenge you:

    Ask yourself what matters most. Pick 1 area to focus your attention, WRITE IT DOWN!

    Be willing to revise your plan.

    What went well? What isn’t working?

    Use the stumbles as information to do better going forward.

    Change whatever isn’t working BEFORE it becomes a NEW bad habit.

    Above all else, practice GRACE on yourself!






    Steps on Purpose



  • New Year Self Evaluation Failure

    New Year title imageIt’s a New Year!

    Now What?

    I’ve asked myself this question for a while now.

    It started when I went away all by myself.

    I was in my hotel room and thought, “When was the last time I was away ALONE?”

    I remember, it was in the hospital recovering from surgery!


    I only go away when promised anesthesia and Jello! #livingthedream

    Last time I was alone was under anesthesia! #livingthedream Click To Tweet

    As the new year approached, I decided to brainstorm what I want to do once I’ve been phased out of full-time mom life.

    It’s not just the kid who needs to decide what to be when He grows up.

    What will I do once The Kid goes off to college, joins the circus, or becomes a Traveling Musician Architect with a YouTube Video Game channel?

    I grabbed a pen and jotted down a few ideas.

    4 things I could be when I grow up

    1. Masked crime Fighter
    2. Wonder Woman Body Double
    3. Super Secret Spy
    4. Somebody Super Fabulous that does Super Fabulous things Super Fabulously

    Upon refection, I realized a few things.

    1. Wearing a mask would make me feel claustrophobic.

    Ever get your arm caught in the sleeve of your sweater and fear you’ll be stuck forever?

    Yup…that’s me!

    2. There aren’t enough Spanx in the UNIVERSE to make me look like Wonder Woman!

    This was a harsh realization. I HAD Wonder Woman Underoos when I was a little girl!

    3. Super Secret Spy???

    Interesting in theory…but I don’t like to fly AND get lost everywhere in new surroundings.

    Not to mention the only “accent” I do is Minion from Despicable Me!

    Also, 2 questions keep coming to mind.

    1. Do Super Fabulous people wear a top knot bun and yoga pants? (And NOT do yoga?)

    2. Do they check the clock to make sure it’s “officially” time for pajamas? (Official time is 4 pm… ANY time zone)

    New Year QuoteWhat’s my answer to “Now What”?

    I don’t know!

    What I DO know is I want to do more things that matter, take away things that don’t, ask myself hard questions and step out of my comfort zone.

    That’s a pretty good start!

    Follow along as I discover ways to Craft a Purposeful Life.

    Are you asking yourself the “Now What” question?

    What steps are YOU taking?





    New Year Update

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