Laundry!
Eat Candy!
Wear Yoga pants all day and don’t DO Yoga!
As someone who’s trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up, those are just a few of the answers I want to say when people ask me, “What do YOU do?”
Self consciousness creeps in and I can almost visualize the measuring stick they’re hiding.
I confess!
I’ve asked this question too many times.
Do I ask in the hope of meeting someone with a fascinating career like “Treasure Hunter” or “Dog Bark Interpreter”?
What if you can’t talk about your job? (Super Secret Spy!!!)
Or your family is struggling because you or your spouse were laid off.
What’s the real question?
- Do we have something in common?
- Do you have an interesting career that I would enjoy hearing about
- Are you worth talking to while my feet are KILLING ME in these heels??
Wouldn’t dinner parties be so much easier to navigate if they had designated areas.
“Come on in!
If you’d like to talk about your job, please head to the breakfast area.
If you’re unsure about where you fit in the world or would like to meet interesting people in spite of what they do to support their families and who came here to NOT talk about their job; grab a seat on the couch…and enjoy some CAKE!” (Guess where I’ll be!)
What if we asked a different question?
- What do you enjoy doing?
- What do you wish you were doing right now? (THAT would be an interesting discussion!)
- Are you a Super Secret Spy? (Hint. If they say NO it’s because if they answer YES your life would be in mortal danger! How FUN would That be!!!)
- Can you tell I’m wearing Spanx under this dress? (Ask this ONLY if you really want to know the answer)
- OR: Slip them a note that reads, “Do you want to be friends?”
I did an “experiment” the other day! (Imagine evil villain laughter)
I met someone new and purposefully asked her, “What do you like to do for fun?”
*Full transparency: This did NOT go over well.
3 reasons I’m glad I asked in spite of the outcome.
- I was fully present in the conversation.
- I had to be mindful of asking a question that would be of value.
- I was intentional in creating connection with someone new.
What struck me was how uncomfortable she was in anticipating the “What do YOU do” question of DOOM!
I know what that feels like.
Hello.
My name is Rebecca and I have no marketable skills and feel self-conscious in new situations because of my lack of financial contribution to society!
Sometimes I want to hand out a flyer in social situations:
Happily married woman over 40 looking to meet people to form worthwhile relationships.
Bad at hiding my facial expressions, have trouble containing my excitement when I see CAKE, and cry at Hallmark commercials.
I like to have fun except when it involves heights, fast rides, weird food, or wearing Spanx.
To learn more, head over to the couch…I hear there’s CAKE!
Here’s the TRUTH.
You are more than your job title.
Your worth is not based on what you have/have not “achieved”.
I was reading Holley Gerth’s You’re Already Amazing: LifeGrowth Guide, and came across this:
“All the Roles we have in this life are TEMPORARY! Who God made you is eternal.”
That’s so good, Holley!
We all go through seasons of life.
Sometimes, what we “DO” is more in line with our passions, talents, skills, and desires.
Other times we are walking in obedience in spite of what we would LIKE to be pursuing.
BUT it doesn’t change WHO we are.
The next time you find yourself about to ask “What do YOU do?”
- Ask: What do you LOVE to do?
- What is the best advice someone gave you?
- What is something you have always wanted to do?
- Have you ever thought about becoming a Super Secret Spy?
What would you LOVE to ask people instead of the dreaded question of DOOM?
Wow! I resonate with this so much! This is my first time to your blog, and I was captivated immediately! I love your sense of humor! But back to the dreaded question… I find myself resorting to that because it’s habit, and I don’t know what else to say! eeeek! This has left me inspired to change that.
Last weekend my husband and I were at a B&B. The 4 people at the next table over were having a really interesting conversation. It was revolved around what they did. But they did have interesting jobs. We weren’t even talking to each other because we were eavesdropping! haha! Later that day we talked about this very thing. How do you add value to someones life in just a short meeting? (those ppl at the next table had just met) I want to be that person that leaves others feeling valued.
Whoa, this just got long!
Blessings to you friend, keep up the great writing!!!
Thank you for coming by, Chellie! You are so sweet!
I have to remind myself to PAUSE before I speak (or insert cake) because I am used to asking the question of DOOM, also.
One other thing I didn’t mention in the post, I try to be mindful of saying something kind to people I meet. I notice their necklace, shoes, smile, haircut etc…I treat it like a game. “What can I do to speak life into someone I just met?” It’s fun…then I reward my efforts with…CAKE!!
Come back anytime!
I love this! I will be choosing a new question the next time I meet someone new. Maybe I’ll go the secret spy route… 🙂
Oh my goodness, Starr. If you do, you HAVE to tell me how it goes!!!
Thank you for coming by! I appreciate it.
Rebecca, once again you have given me lots to think about, to chew on (although I’m a pie girl and can pass up cake in a heartbeat) ? and to consider. I LOVE your other Q options- if I was feeling brave, I’d love to ask people “what would you rather be doing right now?” I wonder if people would really be honest- but the answer would intrigue me.? Your posts are such an encouragement to me- to truly invest in other people and bring Life wherever I go. I’ll be reading and re-reading this post til it really sinks in and becomes part of who I am. Thank you for your humor (I have a love/hate relationship with spanx too-?) and your gentle way of speaking Truth. I hope we can meet in person one day…?
I would love that, Sarah! I will make pie 🙂
I also wonder what kind of response I would get with some of my “brave” questions.
Even if they weren’t honest in their answer, i think they would be amused by the question! That’s better that waiting for the question of DOOM! (Gosh…that is so much fun to say!)