Laundry!

Eat Candy!

Wear Yoga pants all day and don’t DO Yoga!

As someone who’s trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up, those are just a few of the answers I want to say when people ask me, “What do YOU do?”

Self consciousness creeps in and I can almost visualize the measuring stick they’re hiding.

I confess!

I’ve asked this question too many times.

Do I ask in the hope of meeting someone with a fascinating career like “Treasure Hunter” or “Dog Bark Interpreter”?

What if you can’t talk about your job? (Super Secret Spy!!!)

Or your family is struggling because you or your spouse were laid off.

What’s the real question?

• Do we have something in common?
• Do you have an interesting career that I would enjoy hearing about
• Are you worth talking to while my feet are KILLING ME in these heels??

Wouldn’t dinner parties be so much easier to navigate if they had designated areas.

“Come on in!

If you’d like to talk about your job, please head to the breakfast area.

If you’re unsure about where you fit in the world or would like to meet interesting people in spite of what they do to support their families and who came here to NOT talk about their job; grab a seat on the couch…and enjoy some CAKE!”  (Guess where I’ll be!)

What if we asked a different question?

• What do you enjoy doing?
• What do you wish you were doing right now? (THAT would be an interesting discussion!)
• Are you a Super Secret Spy? (Hint. If they say NO it’s because if they answer YES your life would be in mortal danger! How FUN would That be!!!)
• Can you tell I’m wearing Spanx under this dress? (Ask this ONLY if you really want to know the answer)
• OR: Slip them a note that reads, “Do you want to be friends?”

I did an “experiment” the other day! (Imagine evil villain laughter)

I met someone new and purposefully asked her, “What do you like to do for fun?”

*Full transparency: This did NOT go over well.

3 reasons I’m glad I asked in spite of the outcome.

1.  I was fully present in the conversation.
2. I had to be mindful of asking a question that would be of value.
3. I was intentional in creating connection with someone new.

What struck me was how uncomfortable she was in anticipating the “What do YOU do” question of DOOM!

I know what that feels like.

Hello.

My name is Rebecca and I have no marketable skills and feel self-conscious in new situations because of my lack of financial contribution to society!

Sometimes I want to hand out a flyer in social situations:

Happily married woman over 40 looking to meet people to form worthwhile relationships.

Bad at hiding my facial expressions, have trouble containing my excitement when I see CAKE, and cry at Hallmark commercials.

I like to have fun except when it involves heights, fast rides, weird food, or wearing Spanx.

To learn more, head over to the couch…I hear there’s CAKE!

Here’s the TRUTH.

You are more than your job title.

Your worth is not based on what you have/have not “achieved”.

I was reading  Holley Gerth’s You’re Already Amazing: LifeGrowth Guide, and came across this:

“All the Roles we have in this life are TEMPORARY! Who God made you is eternal.”

That’s so good, Holley!

We all go through seasons of life.

Sometimes, what we “DO” is more in line with our passions, talents, skills, and desires.

Other times we are walking in obedience in spite of what we would LIKE to be pursuing.

BUT it doesn’t change WHO we are.

The next time you find yourself about to ask “What do YOU do?”

• Ask: What do you LOVE to do?
• What is the best advice someone gave you?
• What is something you have always wanted to do?
• Have you ever thought about becoming a Super Secret Spy?

 What would you LOVE to ask people instead of the dreaded question of DOOM?

The moment I heard the phrase “Good Seed”, my brain started firing on all cylinders!

(Hard to do without SUGAR!)

How do you determine “good seed”?

I asked my Dad since he works in the seed business. (I Promise…I didn’t even plan it to work out this way!)

He said, “Through trial, observation, and experience.”

Gosh dad. I didn’t realize you were gonna be THAT awesome!

Customers rely on my dad to use his 50+ years of experience, his observations, and the trials the seed goes through before it is proven “good”.

3 ways to determine good seed.

#1 Through trial

We are going to have trials.

How I wish this wasn’t true! There are no Cliff notes for this.

Just as seed has to be tested BEFORE my dad recommends it to his customers, so do we.

Trials are a necessary part of our growth.

#2 Observation

Looking back over my trials, I have observed the very best of myself AND times I still cringe when I remember how I reacted.

Either way, observation is KEY to determining good seed.

What did I learn?

What would I do differently?

What would I WANT someone to say to ME when __happens?

Sometimes, failing is the best observation.

I know PLENTY of ways to NOT be helpful, encouraging, and uplifting to others.

How???

Because I have MASTERED failure!

There are a few times I have passed.

I hold those very dear.

It gives me strength going into the NEXT trial.

#3 Experience

Sharing your experience is difficult.

“Fake it ’till you make it” is a popular saying for a reason!

I recently heard Michele Cushatt say, “Perfection does not create connection”.

How true that is!

Do you remember how much it helped when someone walked with YOU during a trial?

OR how alone you felt when no one did?

Take your trials, what you’ve learned, and use those experiences to encourage others.

When my “Now What” question started to creep in, I had to take a hard look at where I’ve been and where I WANT to go.

(Hopefully not too far since I will be wearing my yoga pants)

What is my OVERALL goal?

What do I need to change?

I don’t know about you, but when I have “too much” to do I shut down!

I was listening to Michael Hyatt’s podcast the other day and he said, “When you are OVERWHELMED with what you need to do, just do the next RIGHT thing.”

I needed to stop thinking about ALL of it and reign in my focus.

With prayer and honesty with myself, I’ve implemented 5 steps to plan this year on purpose!
Since we’re friends, I thought I’d share them with y’all.

5 Steps to Plan on Purpose

1. Set Your intention

Know the WHY behind the plan. What matters most?

For me, knowing how I want my LIFE to look overall made a HUGE shift in me.

I wrote out what a “perfect” day looks like.

Not a “sipping Sangria on the beach” kind of day…but a REAL wake up to bedtime regular day.
I have it written down to compare to when I plan.

2. Pick 1 area of focus

Is there a time of day you want to change?

Is there a time of MONTH that is difficult?

Baby steps!

Mine is MORNINGS!!

I am NOT a morning person. (As in…”Please do not make me function before 9am”)

I have to take that thought captive!

WHY am I not a morning person?  Do I LIKE feeling rushed trying to get out the door?

Once you’ve made good headway with 1 area, move on to the next.

You will have “proven results” to keep you motivated.

Keep it small and on PURPOSE!

3. Write it DOWN

(see #1) What needs to happen and at when?

Be realistic.

Since my struggle is morning time, I have to look at what I want to do before appointments, homeschooling and family obligations.

Yes… I’m sure I COULD be showered and out the door in 20 minutes, but is that realistic?

4. Regroup/Review/Revise

Schedule time to look over your plan.

What went well?

What did you forget to account for?

Treat it as a social experiment.

I forgot how much I LOVE peaceful mornings. Now I look forward to mornings because I know I’ll get 30 minutes of peace and quiet BEFORE my day begins.

If something isn’t working, change it before it becomes a NEW bad habit!

5. Give yourself GRACE

Stuff happens!

The kid will get sick or the dogs will poop on the carpet (or BOTH).

Recognize it for what it is!

This one is difficult for me.

I am quick to “scold” myself when my plan doesn’t go as planned.

I continually remind myself that I am making progress. I am learning and growing more purposeful.

Joanna Gaines has a saying, ” Every Day is a Good Day for a Good Day!”

Give yourself a do-over! Every day is a good day for a Do-Over! Click To Tweet

Are you trying to tame your morning (like me) or struggle with another aspect of your routine?

I challenge you:

Ask yourself what matters most. Pick 1 area to focus your attention, WRITE IT DOWN!

Be willing to revise your plan.

What went well? What isn’t working?

Use the stumbles as information to do better going forward.

Change whatever isn’t working BEFORE it becomes a NEW bad habit.

Above all else, practice GRACE on yourself!