Are you tired of waiting on God?

Have you ever tried to grow out your bangs?

After months of struggling with the “too long BUT too short phase”- give up, have your hairdresser cut them, (or cut them yourself? SHHHH don’t tell!) and immediately regret it!

If you just held out through the “I hate them and will fix it with the kitchen shears” stage, it would have been worth the wait.

I am not a good waiter!

I was a hostess in a restaurant for a while.

Smile, greet you, take you to your table, and have someone else “wait” on you.

If I was your waiter/waitress/server I would want to “HELP” you choose.

Need a few more minutes?

How about I just order for you? You eat, l get paid, and we both get on with our day?

The quote “Patience is a Virtue” MAY be true, but I was in a DIFFERENT line when God was handing it out. (because I didn’t want to WAIT!)

We wait for many things.

We wait for “Mr. Right”, for babies to be born, adoption paperwork to finalize , deployments to end and test results to come in.

I remember being pregnant with THE KID.

I could hardly wait to meet him!

It took The Husband and I almost 5 years to get pregnant.

I had some dark times “waiting”.

I was anxious to BE a mommy. I wanted to hold him, smooch his chubby cheeks, rock him to sleep, and brag at how “advanced” he was.

Right now, my family and I are waiting for our house to be built. We can “hardly wait” to move in!

Waiting is HARD.

Especially if you’ve been waiting for a long time.

I remember one deployment, THE KID and I made a paper chain to help us wait.

Every week we would tear off one link until there were none left!

There were weeks and weeks when it looked like links were being ADDED instead of taken away.

Waiting TESTS us.

I am not a good test taker.

My mind goes blank, I forget everything I knew and hurry through the test just to get it over with.

I can be that way with God, too.

I want a Yes or No…but “Wait”?

That’s annoying!

At least if it’s a “No” I can move on and focus my impatience on something else!

Here’s the stinker, though. (I’m hesitant to even mention it because I don’t like it!)

Remember when I talked about Proving Seed to be Good?

Without the waiting, there wouldn’t be good seed to sow in people’s life?

If I didn’t wait 15 months for The Husband to return from deployment, how could I encourage another wife struggling through her wait?

If I didn’t spend a small fortune on EPT tests, how could I share a glimpse of the pain another “waiting” momma is going through.

Often times, I forget that waiting is part of the process.

IF I am waiting well, then I am watching, listening, growing and crying out to The Lord. (or just crying)

Psalm 25:21

May integrity and uprightness preserve me, for I wait for you.

On the other hand, when I skip the waiting, things get a bit…messy!

Like painting your nails right before you have to be somewhere.

They smudge, polish gets on everything, and the smell STINKS up the car!

Don’t stink it up by going ahead with your own way!

Don't stink up God's plan with your own way! Click To Tweet

What do I want more?

His Best…or MY own way?

Whether God says Yes, No, or Wait…isn’t that better than ANYTHING I can come up with to make something happen?

My impulsive, let’s just choose something so I don’t have to wait anymore, plow through and have my way kind of action!

He is so patient with me…

I imagine He just shakes His head and thinks, “That stubborn ox!”

I want to be a women that waits well, fully trusts that His timing is perfect, and rests her anxious heart in the shadow of his wings.

Psalm 73:28

But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all your works.

To help with the waiting, focus on 2 things.

Gratitude and Thankfulness.

First and foremost:

God’s Way is always better than my own!

He doesn’t leave me to my own stubborn ox ways!

He gently (sometimes forcefully) pulls me back from my destruction!

He will never leave me nor forsake me. (Deuteronomy 31:6)

He is not done with me! (Philippians 1:6)

I waited 5 years to have child I thought would never come.

It was worth the wait!

Through multiple deployments I waited to lock eyes with The Husband.

There were MANY sleepless nights wondering/worrying if He was safe.

It was worth the wait!

As Christians, our greatest wait is on Christ’s return.

He is worth the wait!

We all have times when we think God has forgotten us.

Did you ever sit home and wait for the boy to call?

Pick up the phone to make sure it was working? (Phones USED to have cords AND were connected to walls!!)

God is always connected!

He didn’t lose your number, try to call but got a BUSY signal, or unable to get through because the lines were being worked on!

Are YOU waiting on Something?

You are NOT alone! Share your heart with someone you trust!

And whatever you do, DON’T cut your own bangs!! Trust me…it never ends well!

1 Tip To Believe You’re Already Amazing

I’m gonna be “Straight Up” Paula Abdul style with you!

Rubber meets the road, pedal to the metal, and no turning back.

I remember like it was yesterday. I was walking down the hallway, strutting like a Peacock with its feathers fluffed out. I was ON POINT!! (I don’t know what that means…but it sounds good!)

Feeling good, looking good, and ready to become the envy of all who saw me and my new snazzy outfit!

Before I opened the door, I paused for a final “once over”.

Then it hit me!

What was I thinking?

It was all wrong!

Pencil skirt that goes beyond my knees? WRONG!

Burgundy dress shoes with rubber bottoms? WRONG!

It was too late, though. I had to open the door and walk into my 4th grade class knowing I was not “Good enough”.

That was the moment everything changed.

I spent the next 10 years trying to compensate. Striving for acceptance, compromising myself for others, and acting out a role I wasn’t meant to play.

In high school, I was “friends” with a group that never got the memo that the 70’s were over! Peace, Love, and Peasant Skirts!!

Off I went to conquer a brave new world (11th grade) in my baggy t-shirt, peasant skirt, and ankle bracelet. (It had bells…because people needed a warning that I was coming!)

Come to find out, there was a group of girls that DID get the memo!

This is when you know something isn’t quite right.

Instead of Free Love, Save the Manatee, Hug a Tree, (not that there is anything WRONG with those things) this group of girls assumed I had joined a Religious Cult!

They actually nicknamed me “Christian!”

The story ends well.

We became friends and laughed about it. (Once they stopped being scared!)

Examples like that are woven though my childhood and teenage years.

Not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough or even BAD enough. (It’s awkward being bad at BEING bad!)

Ever known someone who was too good to be bad, but bad enough to not be good?

Nice to meet you! Let’s have CAKE!!

That’s why, 32 years later, sitting in a church filled with 1200 women at Business Boutique, I had a ~~major~~ minor meltdown.

Christy Wright gave us all an assignment. Write a letter to encourage a woman at the conference. (Someone we didn’t know.)

Easy!

I got this!

To be perfectly honest, (instead of inaccurately deceptive??? ) I wrote 2 just-in-case someone didn’t get a letter.

It came time to swap.

But before we did, Christy had a “confession” to make.

Can you guess???

I’ll wait…

YUP!!! You’re right!! ( I love having smart friends!)

The letter was NOT for someone else…it was for…

US!!!

#IWASDUPED

This is where it gets tough!

I had no problem writing letters to strangers, but if I knew the letter was for me, what would I have written?

Since this is my year to find my new purpose , I have to challenge my thoughts.

Who am I?

What do I want?

What do I believe?

What is the Capital T Truth?

Am I speaking honorably about myself?

Am I talking to myself with love?

Am I treating myself with excellence?

On Tuesday, I mentioned a quote from Holley Gerth’s book You’re Already Amazing.

I bought the book when I started this Purpose process.

“Embracing Who You Are, Becoming All God Created you to Be” is the subtitle, and I think she wrote it just for me! (probably not)

Shortly after buying the book, I was given the opportunity to join Holley’s launch team for her brand new LifeGrowth Guide for You’re Already Amazing. (I believe I told Holley: Your book attacked me in the bookstore and forced me to buy it and take it home!)

In her introduction, Holley says she would love to sit across the table from “us” and share this message.

Going through the LifeGrowth Guide, that’s what I kept coming back to.

I can picture a small group of girlfriends talking through these 6 sessions and supporting each other through the hard parts!

For me, session 2 stirred up some of the old “STUFF”.

Holley asks you to create a list of 5-10 LIES your heart often hears, and then replace it with God’s TRUTH!!

Clearly…God is trying to get my attention!

I write an anonymous letter to myself, and now this???

Jesus take the Wheel! (Thank you Carrie Underwood for hearing my heart cry)

Holley also talks about releasing control to God. (Something I may or may not have issues with)

What I appreciated was Holley’s focus on seeing yourself through God’s eyes.

She has you take inventory of your strengths, skills, and how you respond to relationships.

She challenges you to see yourself through God’s filter so you can pursue HIS purpose for your life.

Holley writes, “You are here for a reason and you are irreplaceable.”

In the spirit of true confession:

I am not there.

Better than I was, not where I want, possibly right where God wants me?

I don’t like it.

It bothers me.

Once again, I’m the stubborn ox!

I would love to give you 5 steps to get over your insecurities!

Or 3 easy ways to rid yourself of the imposter syndrome!

Even How to be good when you’re bad at being bad!

Sadly, I DON’T.

I’m a work in progress.

Slowly clearing out YEARS of muck.

I DO have 1 tip.

Don’t listen to the garbage in your head.

It has taken me 41 years to come up with that one.

I pray (literally) I start to catch on quicker from here on out!

What would you write in a letter to yourself?

How Do You Measure Up To The Truth?

Do you carry around a measuring stick?

Last Friday I introduced you to Kaye Wilson.

She is a beautiful, intelligent, well-educated, capable woman.

She has 5 wonderful children, plays the piano, speaks french, and is a certified parenting coach. (which means she literally “knows” how to parent, right?)

If I put my measuring stick between the 2 of us, I come up short!

Children

Kaye 5 / Rebecca- 1

Education

Kaye- well-educated /Rebecca -never finished college

Gifts and Talents

Kaye- piano and fluent in French

Rebecca- quit french horn in High School and after 2 years of French class, can only say, “Hello, friend.” and “How are you”.

Even though Kaye far surpasses me when measured, she and I have something in common.

We have struggled with self-confidence.

My husband I attended the Army Ball a few years ago.

I bought a beautiful dress, amazing shoes (that tortured my feet), and was having an epic hair day!

I lost some weight, firmed up and felt sassy!

The Husband was all decked out in his Dress Uniform! (Hello Soldier, wanna make out in the elevator?)

As the evening progressed, the time came for a potty break.

Fix the makeup, tuck everything BACK into the Spanx, (it’s amazing how “stuff” migrates out-of-place) and make sure my hair hadn’t deflated.

As I walked towards the bathroom, I saw a woman looking at me with her eyes WIDE OPEN! It took me a moment, but then I realized.

We were wearing THE SAME DRESS!! (Raise your hand if you’ve had that happen!)

I could have smiled, said something witty, and shrugged it off.

Wanna Guess what I did???

I took out my measuring stick. (Not literally! No room left in my Spanx.)

She was taller, younger, thinner, and looked amazing in “our” dress.

The rest of the night, I made sure I didn’t get too close to her.

If I did, everyone else would find out what I already knew.

I didn’t measure up.

Break the measuring stick of comparison. Click To Tweet

Measure up to what?

Cindy Bultema recently said, “Satan may tell you what is true, but he will never tell the Capital T Truth.”

What does that mean?

It’s true that she was taller, younger, and thinner.

Does that make her more valuable than I am?

What if it was the other way around?

Would being younger, thinner, and taller make ME more significant?

Of course not!

Thinking it doesn’t make it true.

Even if it IS true, is it the “Capital T” Truth?

What is the “Capital T” Truth?

You were created in His image. (Genesis 1:27)

You were fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14)

You have value. (Matthew 10:31)

You have been saved by grace. (Ephesians 2:8)

You have security in Christ. (Romans 8:39)

You are the light of the world. (Matthew 5:14)

You have a glorious future. (Romans 8:18)

**Undoing 41 years of listening to things that may be true (or complete lies) but aren’t the Capital T Truth is difficult.**

Acknowledging brokenness without restoration is uncomfortable.

That is what this season of my life is about.

Who do I believe I am and does that line up with the Truth?

Am I willing to walk in a manner worthy of my calling?

Are you?

Who Do You Trust With Your Heart?

Have you ever participated in a team building exercise that encourages trust?

Fall backwards and people will catch you.

Put on a blindfold and have someone guide you along a path?

No thank you!

The only blindfold I wear is my sleep mask. (Have you tried a sleep mask? I can’t sleep without it.)

When you’re falling backwards, you have to trust that the people in charge of catching you will have the strength and steady footing to hold you up without collapsing.

Will they be able to bear the added weight?

Will they lead you safely around obstacles?

It’s easy to trust when you’re young.

We trust daddy is gonna catch us when we jump into his arms.

We trust what our parents tell us about Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny, and if we put a tooth under our pillow a fairy will come and take it and leave money. (That’s not creepy at all, right?)

As we get older, trust becomes more difficult.

We confide in a friend and they share your secret with someone else.

We rely on a promise that doesn’t come through.

We pour our heart into a relationship that comes to an end.

I have been the receiver AND giver of mistrust.

I’ve had my heart hurt and have been the one to hurt others.

I ask questions like…

What are they after?

What do they want from me?

What do they get from this?

That’s because people are fallible.

We are navigating through our own experiences, with our own pain, and carrying past hurts with us.

What once came “without question” is now filled with doubt, hesitation, and holding back from truly sharing.

How much would you be willing to TRUST if you knew UP FRONT that it was safe?

Trust God with all your heart. He is your refuge and fortress in your time of need. Click To Tweet

That the weight of your burden would not make them collapse?

Not only will they catch you, but will hold you steady and support you fully.

That the direction they lead you is not only the right one, but that you’re on solid footing.

That is the Trust that ONLY God can give.

I talked about God’s unfailing love a few weeks ago.

It is deeper, stronger, and will never be removed from those He loves.

It is unconditional.

His love is sacrificial.

John 3:16

For God so loved the world that He GAVE his only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

Remember, we can have Hope in Him. Confidence that He is with us and that He hears us.

Jeremiah 29:11 (HCSB)

“For I know the plans I have for you”- this is the Lord’s declaration- “plans for your welfare, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”

Knowing that He loves us with unfailing love, and we have hope in His plans for us, we can trust Him with our hearts, burdens, and our sorrows.

Freesia is the symbol of trust.

It is a delicate flower that requires much care. Just like our hearts.

God wants us to look to Him for trust.

He will take care of you, never let you go, won’t lead you astray or fail to catch you.

How do you trust God?

Practice.

Trust Him with something small.

Not because you want him to “PROVE” Himself ( he isn’t magic), but to soften our hearts to trust itself.

It can feel weird to trust…tell Him that. (Even though He already knows it)

The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them. -Ernest Hemingway-

What about you?

Do you struggle with trust?

What do you hope for in your life?

There are many things I’ve “wished ” for over the years.

I’ve wished for straight hair and for Kirk Cameron to be my boyfriend.

I’ve wished I was taller, shorter, younger, older, smarter, and cuter.

I’ve even wished for a pony!

There’s an old song written by Dusty Springfield that goes, “wishin’ and hopin’ and thinkin’ and prayin’. (Try to get THAT out of your head now!)

The difference between a wish and hope.

I have a vivid memory of my oldest brother researching our ancestry for a school project.

He told us our family is part Scottish.

Well, I assumed that because of this, I would have the natural ability to become a world-famous “Scottish” dancer.

For weeks I went out to our driveway and hopped around (thinking I was making up some EPIC Scottish dancing moves) WISHING someone would “discover” my Scottish dancing talents.

Dance like no one's watching! Click To Tweet

~~Unfortunately~~ Fortunately, my Scottish dancing wish never came true. (Thank goodness there wasn’t YouTube “back in my day”.)

After that, I decided to focus my “talents” on becoming the next Mary Lou Retton.

I “practiced” leaping across my bed for HOURS at a time.

I had the “finish” pose NAILED!

The rest of it?

Not so much.

Wish is a term that refers to a desire or point to something one longs to have.

It is an impossibility or to desire something with little chance of it coming true.

I could wish all day, but I was never going to get discovered for my Scottish dancing talent.

No matter how many vaults across my canopy bed I made, the Olympic Gymnastics Team was not going to see my amazing finish pose and ask me to join them.

In spite of not getting things I have wished for, what I DO have is HOPE.

Pete Miller wrote “To hope is to anticipate a future event with a confident expectation of its fulfillment.”

To put it another way, hope means to have confidence in the future.

I hope The Kid grows up to serve God.

I hope to live a long happy life with The Husband.

I hope to grow in my pursuit of purpose.

I hope to move into our new home soon.

I hope to take a nap.

Romans 15:13

Now may the God of HOPE fill you with all joy and peace as you believe in Him so that you may overflow with HOPE by the power of the Holy Spirit.

“As You” is not a passive phrase.

You take steps to believe in Him.

The more steps you take, the more confidence you have.

Which is scarier? Doing something for the first time or doing it the second? Or third?

What would you do if you were overflowing with confidence?

Last week I talked about God’s unfailing love.

Remember Isaiah 54:10 “Mountains may move and hills shake but God’s love will NOT be moved from you.”

No matter what, God’s love will NOT be moved from you.

God will fill you with joy and peace AS YOU (take action towards) believe so that you may overflow with confident expectation by the power of the Holy Spirit.

As Valentine’s Day approaches, you can have HOPE (confidence) knowing that you are loved with HIS unfailing Love.

Psalm 62:5

Rest in God alone, my soul, for my hope comes from Him.