Unpack on Purpose

Big changes are all around me and I’m practicing my breathing exercises as I unpack boxes.

Step 1

Stop holding my breath!

Step 2

When I start breathing again, make sure I have a paper bag to breath INTO!

This is our 11th move in 20 years.

You’d think the only possessions I’d have to unpack are a toothbrush and clean underwear. (And it will be CUTE underwear. I don’t need people spying my industrial undergarments)

But…NO! We were only 200 lbs UNDER our maximum weight allowance. (I’ve never said UNDER and WEIGHT in the same sentence. That felt amazing!!)

When the truck pulled up with our STUFF, my immediate reaction was to pray my favorite Carrie Underwood prayer, “Jesus Take the Wheel”. Take the wheel and drive this truck into a river because I don’t want to have to unpack any of this” YOU KNOW WHAT” into my beautiful house!

There were a few things I was ITCHING to have.

1. My Longarm Quilt machine. I have missed quilting more that I realized!

2. My Husbands tools. I have selfish reasons for this.

3. My couch. No more sitting on patio furniture!

Yup…3 things out of 1,000’s.

There are projects I am eager to DO with some of our things, but as The Husband and I unpack mystery item #976 we look at each other and shake our heads!

Why do we hang on to STUFF?

Stuff that’s stained or broken.

Stuff we never use for times we think we may use it?

Stuff that clutters our closets, cabinets, shelves, homes, and our lives?

Through this process of purpose, I’ve become acutely aware of what I’ve stored.

Boxes FULL of baby items I’ve been unwilling to let go of because it’s HARD to acknowledge that season is over.
Bins full of clothes that don’t fit! Enough Said.
Gifts from people I love. Is it still a gift if you keep it out of guilt? If I gave a gift and found out that you didn’t use it, like it or had a need for it anymore, I would tell you to GET RID OF IT! That’s easier said than done, though.
“That cost a lot of money when we got it!” We keep items even though we don’t want it, use it, can’t fix it, doesn’t work, or no longer enjoy because of the cost.

Unpacking boxes weighs heavy on me.

I want to create a home for my family to find REST. I don’t want it filled with objects that clutter physical, emotional and spiritual space.

I want to make room for new.

In order to do that, I have to say NO to what I’ve held on to.

No more clothes that don’t fit.

No more dishes that don’t get used.

No more stuffed animals to store away “just in case”.

No more trinkets that stay on a shelf and no longer bring me joy.

Questions I’m asking as I go through our boxes.

Do I Love it?
Does it bring me joy?
Do I need it?
Would I buy it again today?
Why have I kept it?

That last question is difficult to ask and answer honestly.

Am I keeping something because of what I WISH it could be? Am I holding on to a time, size, or circumstance that is in the past or a made up “what if” scenario?

Tell me if this sounds familiar:

A dress hangs in your closet that you will wear even when mopping your floors once you lose the last 5…10…15 lbs.

Release THAT dream to the Universe!! (of mopping the floors)

Trinkets displayed so your house looks nice for people who come over to make sure you have nice trinkets?

Why are you friends with THOSE people??

Storing special dishes in the hutch for the dinner party the will never happen because you remember after dinner comes dirty dishes and dirty dishes are Satan’s minions!

Dirty Dishes are Satan's minions! Fight the Good fight and order pizza. Click To Tweet

As I unpack on Purpose, I challenge you to look around and ask yourself, “What am I holding on to that no longer ADDS value to my life?”

Follow me on Instagram for my unboxing adventures and share with me what YOU have decided to clear out.

Are you tired of waiting on God?

Have you ever tried to grow out your bangs?

After months of struggling with the “too long BUT too short phase”- give up, have your hairdresser cut them, (or cut them yourself? SHHHH don’t tell!) and immediately regret it!

If you just held out through the “I hate them and will fix it with the kitchen shears” stage, it would have been worth the wait.

I am not a good waiter!

I was a hostess in a restaurant for a while.

Smile, greet you, take you to your table, and have someone else “wait” on you.

If I was your waiter/waitress/server I would want to “HELP” you choose.

Need a few more minutes?

How about I just order for you? You eat, l get paid, and we both get on with our day?

The quote “Patience is a Virtue” MAY be true, but I was in a DIFFERENT line when God was handing it out. (because I didn’t want to WAIT!)

We wait for many things.

We wait for “Mr. Right”, for babies to be born, adoption paperwork to finalize , deployments to end and test results to come in.

I remember being pregnant with THE KID.

I could hardly wait to meet him!

It took The Husband and I almost 5 years to get pregnant.

I had some dark times “waiting”.

I was anxious to BE a mommy. I wanted to hold him, smooch his chubby cheeks, rock him to sleep, and brag at how “advanced” he was.

Right now, my family and I are waiting for our house to be built. We can “hardly wait” to move in!

Waiting is HARD.

Especially if you’ve been waiting for a long time.

I remember one deployment, THE KID and I made a paper chain to help us wait.

Every week we would tear off one link until there were none left!

There were weeks and weeks when it looked like links were being ADDED instead of taken away.

Waiting TESTS us.

I am not a good test taker.

My mind goes blank, I forget everything I knew and hurry through the test just to get it over with.

I can be that way with God, too.

I want a Yes or No…but “Wait”?

That’s annoying!

At least if it’s a “No” I can move on and focus my impatience on something else!

Here’s the stinker, though. (I’m hesitant to even mention it because I don’t like it!)

Remember when I talked about Proving Seed to be Good?

Without the waiting, there wouldn’t be good seed to sow in people’s life?

If I didn’t wait 15 months for The Husband to return from deployment, how could I encourage another wife struggling through her wait?

If I didn’t spend a small fortune on EPT tests, how could I share a glimpse of the pain another “waiting” momma is going through.

Often times, I forget that waiting is part of the process.

IF I am waiting well, then I am watching, listening, growing and crying out to The Lord. (or just crying)

Psalm 25:21

May integrity and uprightness preserve me, for I wait for you.

On the other hand, when I skip the waiting, things get a bit…messy!

Like painting your nails right before you have to be somewhere.

They smudge, polish gets on everything, and the smell STINKS up the car!

Don’t stink it up by going ahead with your own way!

Don't stink up God's plan with your own way! Click To Tweet

What do I want more?

His Best…or MY own way?

Whether God says Yes, No, or Wait…isn’t that better than ANYTHING I can come up with to make something happen?

My impulsive, let’s just choose something so I don’t have to wait anymore, plow through and have my way kind of action!

He is so patient with me…

I imagine He just shakes His head and thinks, “That stubborn ox!”

I want to be a women that waits well, fully trusts that His timing is perfect, and rests her anxious heart in the shadow of his wings.

Psalm 73:28

But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all your works.

To help with the waiting, focus on 2 things.

Gratitude and Thankfulness.

First and foremost:

God’s Way is always better than my own!

He doesn’t leave me to my own stubborn ox ways!

He gently (sometimes forcefully) pulls me back from my destruction!

He will never leave me nor forsake me. (Deuteronomy 31:6)

He is not done with me! (Philippians 1:6)

I waited 5 years to have child I thought would never come.

It was worth the wait!

Through multiple deployments I waited to lock eyes with The Husband.

There were MANY sleepless nights wondering/worrying if He was safe.

It was worth the wait!

As Christians, our greatest wait is on Christ’s return.

He is worth the wait!

We all have times when we think God has forgotten us.

Did you ever sit home and wait for the boy to call?

Pick up the phone to make sure it was working? (Phones USED to have cords AND were connected to walls!!)

God is always connected!

He didn’t lose your number, try to call but got a BUSY signal, or unable to get through because the lines were being worked on!

Are YOU waiting on Something?

You are NOT alone! Share your heart with someone you trust!

And whatever you do, DON’T cut your own bangs!! Trust me…it never ends well!

1 Tip To Believe You’re Already Amazing

I’m gonna be “Straight Up” Paula Abdul style with you!

Rubber meets the road, pedal to the metal, and no turning back.

I remember like it was yesterday. I was walking down the hallway, strutting like a Peacock with its feathers fluffed out. I was ON POINT!! (I don’t know what that means…but it sounds good!)

Feeling good, looking good, and ready to become the envy of all who saw me and my new snazzy outfit!

Before I opened the door, I paused for a final “once over”.

Then it hit me!

What was I thinking?

It was all wrong!

Pencil skirt that goes beyond my knees? WRONG!

Burgundy dress shoes with rubber bottoms? WRONG!

It was too late, though. I had to open the door and walk into my 4th grade class knowing I was not “Good enough”.

That was the moment everything changed.

I spent the next 10 years trying to compensate. Striving for acceptance, compromising myself for others, and acting out a role I wasn’t meant to play.

In high school, I was “friends” with a group that never got the memo that the 70’s were over! Peace, Love, and Peasant Skirts!!

Off I went to conquer a brave new world (11th grade) in my baggy t-shirt, peasant skirt, and ankle bracelet. (It had bells…because people needed a warning that I was coming!)

Come to find out, there was a group of girls that DID get the memo!

This is when you know something isn’t quite right.

Instead of Free Love, Save the Manatee, Hug a Tree, (not that there is anything WRONG with those things) this group of girls assumed I had joined a Religious Cult!

They actually nicknamed me “Christian!”

The story ends well.

We became friends and laughed about it. (Once they stopped being scared!)

Examples like that are woven though my childhood and teenage years.

Not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough or even BAD enough. (It’s awkward being bad at BEING bad!)

Ever known someone who was too good to be bad, but bad enough to not be good?

Nice to meet you! Let’s have CAKE!!

That’s why, 32 years later, sitting in a church filled with 1200 women at Business Boutique, I had a ~~major~~ minor meltdown.

Christy Wright gave us all an assignment. Write a letter to encourage a woman at the conference. (Someone we didn’t know.)

Easy!

I got this!

To be perfectly honest, (instead of inaccurately deceptive??? ) I wrote 2 just-in-case someone didn’t get a letter.

It came time to swap.

But before we did, Christy had a “confession” to make.

Can you guess???

I’ll wait…

YUP!!! You’re right!! ( I love having smart friends!)

The letter was NOT for someone else…it was for…

US!!!

#IWASDUPED

This is where it gets tough!

I had no problem writing letters to strangers, but if I knew the letter was for me, what would I have written?

Since this is my year to find my new purpose , I have to challenge my thoughts.

Who am I?

What do I want?

What do I believe?

What is the Capital T Truth?

Am I speaking honorably about myself?

Am I talking to myself with love?

Am I treating myself with excellence?

On Tuesday, I mentioned a quote from Holley Gerth’s book You’re Already Amazing.

I bought the book when I started this Purpose process.

“Embracing Who You Are, Becoming All God Created you to Be” is the subtitle, and I think she wrote it just for me! (probably not)

Shortly after buying the book, I was given the opportunity to join Holley’s launch team for her brand new LifeGrowth Guide for You’re Already Amazing. (I believe I told Holley: Your book attacked me in the bookstore and forced me to buy it and take it home!)

In her introduction, Holley says she would love to sit across the table from “us” and share this message.

Going through the LifeGrowth Guide, that’s what I kept coming back to.

I can picture a small group of girlfriends talking through these 6 sessions and supporting each other through the hard parts!

For me, session 2 stirred up some of the old “STUFF”.

Holley asks you to create a list of 5-10 LIES your heart often hears, and then replace it with God’s TRUTH!!

Clearly…God is trying to get my attention!

I write an anonymous letter to myself, and now this???

Jesus take the Wheel! (Thank you Carrie Underwood for hearing my heart cry)

Holley also talks about releasing control to God. (Something I may or may not have issues with)

What I appreciated was Holley’s focus on seeing yourself through God’s eyes.

She has you take inventory of your strengths, skills, and how you respond to relationships.

She challenges you to see yourself through God’s filter so you can pursue HIS purpose for your life.

Holley writes, “You are here for a reason and you are irreplaceable.”

In the spirit of true confession:

I am not there.

Better than I was, not where I want, possibly right where God wants me?

I don’t like it.

It bothers me.

Once again, I’m the stubborn ox!

I would love to give you 5 steps to get over your insecurities!

Or 3 easy ways to rid yourself of the imposter syndrome!

Even How to be good when you’re bad at being bad!

Sadly, I DON’T.

I’m a work in progress.

Slowly clearing out YEARS of muck.

I DO have 1 tip.

Don’t listen to the garbage in your head.

It has taken me 41 years to come up with that one.

I pray (literally) I start to catch on quicker from here on out!

What would you write in a letter to yourself?

The Best Way to Overcome your Burdens

As a child, I thought Jesus liked His eggs sunny side up.

I never understood biblical metaphors like Psalm 23:1 “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.”

I don’t want the Lord to be my shepherd? (It’s a good thing I was a cute child!)

Psalm 23 goes on to talk about God leading me to still waters.

Full disclosure, I would rather be led to Krispy Creme when the HOT button is on!

He also makes me lie down in green pastures?

I wish he would make me lie down on one of those Tempur-pedic beds! (Have you tried one…The Husband and I are shopping for a new mattress! It’s DREAMY!!)

“Christ’s yoke is easy and His burden is light” wasn’t helpful information for me to gain insight into how God works.

All it did was make me think about Jesus eating eggs.

During our Take heart series I have talked about God’s unfailing love, the Hope we can have in Him, and that we are safe to put our trust in Him.

This week, I want to talk about REST.

Not Tempur-pedic bed rest, but spiritual rest.

Rest that comes from knowing you don’t have to figure life out on your own.

I DO anxious like a Rock Star but I stink at rest!

Here’s a Quiz:

You and your husband decide to drive to Home Depot.

On the way there, Husband pulls into the car wash.

What do you do?

A. Express appreciation to your husband for being thoughtful and taking good care of you car.

B. Get bent out of shape because Car Wash was NOT in the plan!

If you chose B, the support group for husbands of wives who have control issues will start once I plan it. (I’ll make cookies!)

Learning what Matthew 11:30 really means challenges me daily (and sometimes HOURLY) to practice REST.

Matthew 11:30

“For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light.”

First things first. It’s YOKE not YOLK. (Glad I cleared that up for myself!)

Now, to understand this passage, you have to know the context.

Jesus was speaking to the people about spiritual burdens that the Pharisees had played upon them.

Some say the Pharisees added over 600 regulations about what “working” on the Sabbath meant.

Legalism leads to guilt, shame, self-righteousness, and burdens no one could endure.

Take my yoke (not yolk) upon you and learn from me.

This was the perfect metaphor for people to understand.

A yoke (not yolk) is a fitted harness that secures 2 oxen together.

The farmer is specific about the oxen he uses to pull the cart.

On one side, the farmer secures the yoke to the ox that’s well-trained, knows what’s going on, and has been with him for a while.

On the other side, he secures the younger, possibly stubborn, know it all ox that needs direction.

The younger ox gets “on the job” training.

He takes his cue from the other ox.

If the stubborn ox turns the wrong way, he’s unable to go too far because he and the wiser ox are secured to the same yoke.

When the oxen are walking together, the yoke rests upon them and the cart is easily pulled.

The journey is only uncomfortable when the stubborn ox wants to take his own course.

But, the wiser ox knows the way.

He knows where the path dips, where the rough patches are, and how steep the hills will be.

He has walked this path before and he trusts the farmer.

This does NOT mean the JOURNEY will be easy, it means we are not alone along the way.

Jesus was urging the people to secure themselves to Him, not to the laws the Pharisees were forcing upon them.

1 John 5:3-4 (ESV- emphasis mine)

For this is the love of God, that we keep HIS commandments. And HIS commandments are not burdensome. For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world-our faith.

Give up doing it the hard way!

Unburden yourself from going it alone, feeling like you HAVE to control everything, or that YOUR way is the Best way!

Be secured to Christ.

He is walking beside us pulling our burdens to lighten the load.

The next time The Husband pulls into the car wash, I will remember, “I am the stubborn ox!”

Don't be the Stubborn Ox. Click To Tweet

And let God lead you to still waters!

It’s better for you than Krispy Creme.

To celebrate the end of this series, I have a gift for you!

I had these Take Heart Notecards made up for you to download.

You can print them off on card-stock to write scripture, an encouraging note, or just “DON”T BE THE STUBBORN OX!”

I would LOVE to see how you use them! Post a pic on Instagram with #takeheartingod