The phone rings and I hear her say, “I just wanted to give you a heads up. I’m gonna pop on by real quick.”

Panic Mode-Ignite!

Dirty dishes get hidden, clean laundry gets tossed BACK in the basket, and out of the corner of my eye I see the stain on the couch cushion.

Ding Dong. (I’m not name calling, that’s just the sound of my doorbell.)

I rushed over, flipped the cushion, and as the story goes, “When, what to my wondering eyes should appear? A stain bigger than the first, Oh Dear!”

(I took a little creative license on that.)

Then there’s the time we invited a couple over for dinner.

Any food preferences?

“Well, we don’t eat a lot of meat.”

I pull out my cookbooks (this was before Pinterest) and choose a meatless dinner option.

I spent hours on a mushroom cheese layered something or other (that I’d never made before) only to watch them PICK OUT the mushrooms.

Welcome to my life.

In the spirit of giving, let me offer you some advice.

Don’t be me. (Have I mentioned I am a work in progress?)

3 Hospitality Mistakes I’ve made

1. Focusing on Perfection

House perfect, couch perfect, outfit perfect, perfect child, perfect marriage, perfect platter full of perfection.

“This? I just whipped this up.”

Liar Liar Mushroom casserole on Fire.

People get nervous when they walk into a perfect home.

“Don’t touch anything. Not even the perfect seashell soap in the perfect guest bath. Dirty hands are better than messing with the Feng shui.” (No judgement zone. Feng shui anything that makes you happy. God is Love. The End.)

When I’m focusing on perfection, it becomes about ME instead of We.

I have to keep my intentions in check.

Am I presenting this to invite others to SHARE in the beauty or to PROVE that I’m worthy enough?

Holly Gerth says, “We’re called to bless, not impress.”

Can blessing someone involve a beautiful table, a glorious meal, and perfectly shaped soap?

Of course. (Just give back up soap for people who are too afraid to mess it up. Me.)

I appreciate the time and care people put into creating a home that represents what they love and I strive to do the same.

But don’t be like me and stress about perfection over focusing on connection.

2. I’ve got this.

Otherwise known as:

Lies I tell my guests instead of asking for help.

My hair’s on fire, the rolls came out looking like deadly weapons, and the dog left  “a treat” on the floor.

No worries.

Everything is under control.

Have a seat in the other room and listen awkwardly while I swear under my breath.

Please tell me I’m not the only one.

Give your people a J.O.B.

They came to your house to BE WITH YOU.

Ask them to pour water in glasses, taste the gravy, stir the soup, alphabetize the cheese platter, or dial 911.

Some of my best stories have come out of kitchen conversations or incidents.

How did blood get on the ceiling?

Rebecca helped.

If they don’t want to help?

Get better friends. (Just kidding. Well, not really.)

3. Money = caring

Have you ever paid $11 for a vanilla bean or spent your grocery budget for the month on one dinner party?

How about buying all new dishes because you didn’t have a matching set?

Providing friends and family with laughter and meaningful conversation is more than a vanilla bean could ever hope to be.

Sitting at a table with chipped mismatched dishes creates moments a set of matching dinnerware can never replace.

I refuse to believe the amount of money I spend on you equals the love I have for you.

It’s just not true.

Do you hear me?

The amount of money you have DOES NOT equal the amount of love you are able to pour out into others.

1 Corinthians 16:14

NIV: Do everything in love

ESV: Let ALL that you do be done in love

ISV: Everything you do should be done lovingly

No matter which version you read, none of them say “spend money to prove you love somebody.”

Do what you can with the Love of Christ instead of trying to compensate with overpriced vanilla beans.

What about when you’re the receiver of Hospitality?

I’m glad you asked.

I love giving gifts. It’s my jam.

The best gift you can give someone who’s shown you hospitality requires 2 things.

1. 5 minutes of your time
2. A willing heart

That’s it.

Easy enough, right?

Write them a heartfelt letter.

Not a text.

Don’t tweet them or update your Facebook status about it.

Take 5 minutes and write a heartfelt letter thanking them.

Be specific. ( More than “Thanks for feeding my face. You’re great.” )

Think about how much you love to get REAL mail that isn’t the gas, water, or electricity bill.

I always ask The Husband, “Anything good in the mail?”

Usually, the answer is,  “Nope. Just bills and catalogs from companies we don’t order things from.”

#nofun

Be the reason someone smiles.

Let whoever extended hospitality to you know that it mattered.

Whether you are the giver or receiver of hospitality, my prayer is that you welcome people in to your home and heart with thanksgiving.

2 Corinthians 9:15

Thanks be to God for HIS inexpressible gift.

What is your favorite way to show hospitality?

Show up or don’t show up.

That was the question.

It started simple enough.

Step out of my Comfort Zone.

Do a Facebook Live.

Talk about showing up and choosing connection even when it’s hard.

Obedience over Comfort.

Because I always listen (try not to laugh) to the small voice that stirs my heart,  I yoked (not yolk) up to Christ and got to it. It's time to Yoke Up and follow Christ. Click To Tweet

I sucked up my insecurities, reminded myself of the 1 tip to believe I am enough, and off to the races I went.

Once it was over, I changed my blouse and slept off my Facebook Live hangover.

FYI

1. I didn’t know I could sweat through my shirt without exercise. Is that a SuperPower?

2. Sitting still and talking to myself is exhausting.

Just when I thought I did my part…

God kept on messing with me.

I started hearing from people who took the challenge to heart.

I know, right. Who knew?

Then I saw (completely unrelated to me and my little blog) Melissa Radke post on Instagram about a random act of kindness she did.

After that, I watched Karen Ehman do a Facebook Live showing her #5dollardash as part of her book launch for Listen Love Repeat. (*I have no connection to Karen’s book or Amazon)

So…It got me thinking. (Insert evil villain laughter)

Let’s do this thing for real.

Shall we give it a name?

Kindness challenge 2016

Show Kindness to a Stranger.

Take Karen Ehman’s challenge, pay for someone’s food like Melissa Radke, write a note to the janitor/cafeteria staff at your kid’s school, slip a note in the mailbox for the Mail Carrier, Ding Dong Ditch your neighbor or take goodies to your veterinarian.

Choose one way to show kindness this week.Take the Challenge and Choose Kindness. Click To Tweet

How about meeting up with a group of friends to take the challenge together?

You’ll be connecting AND showing kindness. (That just blew my mind.)

Leave a comment or tag me Instagram sharing what you did.

Promise?

Don’t think you’ll be all alone.

I’ll be Secret Spying right along with you. I've always wanted to be a Secret Spy for Christ. Click To Tweet

Here I am Live on Facebook chatting more about this.

***UPDATE***

This challenge now has a PRIZE. I couldn’t help myself!

All you have to do is take the challenge, tag me on Instagram with a picture of you Secret Spying around town, or leave a comment on my Facebook page by Monday November 21st.

I will draw a winner LIVE on Facebook next Tuesday at 11 CST.

The debates are over, the ballots are stuffed, the chads are hanging, and the conspiracies are flying.

Sounds like a bad Christmas story, doesn’t it?

Over the next few months, there will be talk of right, wrong, won, lost, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health. (Not a lot of love, honor, and cherish talk, though.)

Facebook will fill back up with cute cat videos, babies laughing, and Hallmark holiday commercials that make you want to cry your face off and call your best friend from the 4th grade.

And then what?

I don’t have any answers to what the next 4 years will bring.

My Crystal Ball cracked years ago.

What I’m sure of is this.

Your neighbor will be the same.

Your co-workers will be the same.

Great Aunt Matilda’s Thanksgiving offering will be the same.

The election results won’t change that.

We are a country that’s wounded, hurting and divided.

The election results won’t change that, either.

We change that.

When we recognize:

1. God is bigger than all of it

2. We do our part in the process.

We vote but recognize we’re not in charge.

3. All people are made in the image of God.

On purpose, for a purpose, no matter what their politics.

4. We all get it wrong.

That’s why God gives grace, mercy, and redemption through Christ.

I need it, you need it, the country needs it.

What has been on my heart, mind, and in countless conversations with The Kid who is taking Government class in school (pray for me) is the Me vs You mentality ONLY causes further divisiveness.

We aren’t seeing each other through the lens of Christ.

We’re disconnected.

I should know. Disconnection is my Spirit animal, remember?

We are so stuck on our “side” of the issues, that we no longer recognize that people we come in contact with have real struggles, have real families, and are doing the best THEY can with the knowledge they have.

Disconnection is easy.

Get up, get dressed, go to work, come home, rinse and repeat.

Blinders on, get it done, wake me when it’s over.

The more we disconnect, the more disconnected we become.

So, this week I am issuing a challenge.

I challenge you to connect.

I have a game I play in my head when I’m out.  (Don’t call the men in the white coats. They already know about me!)

How can I issue kindness (I call it speaking life) to someone who would “normally” get overlooked?

The checkout person, the drive thru taker of the money-er (?), the gas station attendant, the elderly gentleman in the line at the pharmacy.

Just the act of  putting away your phone when you’re spending time with loved ones, making eye contact, issuing a genuine compliment, letting someone go in front at the checkout line, paying for someone’s lunch in the drive thru or slipping a note in the neighbors mailbox can chip away at the disconnection.

I know it’s small.

It’s not going to change the world.

But it will change a moment.

I did my first Facebook Live broadcast about this topic.

I chose to connect and share my heart even though it was uncomfortable.

(You should have seen my shirt after the broadcast. I “glistened” excessively from nerves.)

How will you choose connection over the results of the election?

The Holiday Season is here.

The crisp air, crunchy leaves, soup on the stove, snugly pajamas (or loungewear if you are wearing lip gloss), and an excuse to “test” cookie recipes like Something Swanky’s Smore’s bars.

When leftover turkey is like Manna from Heaven.

And Decorating for Christmas…How I love thee! (Ask me how many Christmas trees I have.)

Just thinking about decorating for the holidays makes me break out my old cheerleading chant, “We have Spirit, yes we do! We have Spirit, how about you?”

No matter how much joy decorating, baking, and quoting Elf gives me, the Holiday Spirit can turn into Stress Central.

The Stress Factor

When  “What are we doing for Thanksgiving”  becomes nightly pillow talk.

The only thing The Kid talks about is the pony Santa’s going to bring.

Expectations, obligations, traditions, naughty or nice (naughty for the win), be grateful/thankful/blessed and pass the Turkey!

Send the cards, host the party, try not to eat your weight in candy, give the gift, be merry, bright AND avoid whatever Great Aunt Matilda brought because her food gives me nightmares!

(*full disclosure: I don’t have a Great Aunt Matilda but I’ve seen some STUFF.)

 Sound familiar?

Let’s talk it out!

Before we get UN-invited to the neighborhood Turkey trot.

Before our kid writes “Make Mommy’s head stop spinning around” on their Christmas Wish List.

Before we long for anesthesia instead of standing around a cheese platter being asked “What do YOU do” all night long.

Before we start singing, “All I want for Christmas is a bottle of wine and a straw!”

3 Ways to KEEP your Holiday Spirit.

Be Honest

Talk it out.

What do you want the holiday season to look like?

What’s most important to you?

What would you like to do differently this year?

What’s something you’ve wanted to do as a family, with friends, on your own, or in your community.

Be Intentional

Schedule “NO OBLIGATION” days.

Days you refuse to do ALL THE THINGS.

Do it NOW!

I’ll wait…

With Love and Grace I have to say it:

Buy/Make/Give Gifts on Purpose.

Stop buying $5 gifts for the cousins you ONLY see on Christmas!

They don’t want it, don’t need it, and don’t want to pretend they’re grateful for it!

An article I read years ago showcases this mindset perfectly.

One year, a dad decided that instead of Christmas gifts he would make up a treasure hunt for his daughter.

He handed her the first clue and at the end of the hunt was an envelope of money.

He had one rule:

She could spend it on anything she wanted (within reason) BUT in one day AND with him!

They woke up, shopped, and he treated her to lunch.

This became their new Holiday tradition.

What can YOU do this holiday season to connect with people you care about?

Be Prepared

Before you say “Yes” to one more Holiday Party because you ran into Susie WhoCares at Target and she invited you.

Before “No problem at all” comes flying out your mouth when you’re asked to sew all the Wise Men costumes. (And you don’t own a sewing machine!)

Have your script ready.

“Thank you but I have a previous engagement.”

“I would love to spend time with you AFTER the holidays”

“I appreciate the offer but I’m unable to commit to that at this time.”

“Sorry, but I’ll be home in my pajamas eating Reese’s Cups” (Is that too honest?)

Refuse to Give in to the Madness.

Download this Great Resource

Victoria from Creative Home Keeper has created a beautiful  38 page Intentional Holiday Planner to help prepare your heart for the holiday season.

You’ll keep your spirit, Yes you will!

I’m a mighty woman of God, right?

I have Victory through Christ, don’t I?

I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength, can’t I?

That’s what I thought.

Until…

I took a good look at MY CLOSET!

(Cue the horror movie scream.)

How can one little area cause so much distress, frustration, shame, and procrastinativeness? (Is that a word?)

In my defense (and goodness knows I need one) I live in an area of unpredictable temperatures.

How am I supposed to know what I’m going to wear when Fall temperatures go from a magnificent 70 degrees and breezy to 94 and hotter than…

Well, you get my point.

And what about the Fashion Police?

Is wearing white after Labor Day  “THE Unforgivable Sin” I’ve heard so much about? (Remind me to tell you THAT story!!)

With Purpose on my mind, I promised to become More than a Conqueror over my Closet Beast.

I blocked off my whole morning, made sure to eat, (I don’t make wise choices when I’m hungry) and had my rules in front of me.

4 Rules to Tame the Closet Beast

Rule #1

It has to fit RIGHT NOW.

Need I say more?

This is a broader (no pun intended) topic for another day, but #1 going forward to get control over the clutter.

No judgement, embarrassment, or beating myself up about it.

Fit or Doesn’t fit… Then move on!

Rule #2

It has to work with my daily life.

I took an honest assessment of the season I’m in.

Beyond Winter, Spring, Summer or Fall.  All you have to do is call.

(Sorry! I can’t help myself!)

There was a time in my life when I was out among the people.

My daily wardrobe was a blouse, trousers, and seriously GORGEOUS pointy heels!! (I love a pointy heel, don’t you?)

These days, the only “dress to impress” I do is try not be on the “What she wore to Walmart” Hall of Shame.

(One problem, though. Walmart has curbside pickup so my standards may slip.)

Rule #3

It has to be in good condition.

The “formerly known as” white tank tops that I wear ALL THE TIME under sweaters.

There’s not enough Oxy Clean to turn THAT train around.

Socks, you USED to be fuzzy and comfy. Parting is such sweet sorrow.

Hello Sweater with the mysterious stain that won’t come out.

The only thing you’re good for is a homeschool biology experiment.

As the NSYNC song goes, ” It ain’t no lie Baby Bye Bye Bye”.

Rule #4

I have to love it.

If I don’t love it, why is it in my closet causing me grief?

Be gone ugly clothes!

I’m done with you taking up space in my life!

I ONLY have 1 exception to this rule.

If it follows the first 3 and is a wardrobe “staple” then it stays.

A good example is a pair of jeans that fit and are in good condition, but I don’t love.

Once I’m able to find/afford a replacement, the old pair goes away.

Now, the clothes that fit the “rules” receive a rose.

(Not really)

I go through all the items and ask 1 question.

Do I have everything I need to wear this? 

The Colored denim that doesn’t match anything.

The blouse I never wear because I need a camisole (do people use that word anymore) to go underneath.

If the answer is NO, Don’t Worry!

It’s not too late!!

Write up your shopping list, grab a friend, and in the words of Tim Gunn, “Make it Work!”

***Word of Warning***

DO NOT… I REPEAT…DO NOT leave home WITHOUT the clothes you are trying to outfit.

You will create the Groundhog Day of fashion if you leave them at home!

Once you’ve gone through all your clothes, take some time to create outfits to help with those “too early to make choices” mornings.

I have a “uniform” for myself.

A sweater with leggings (of course), jeans/blouse/boots, denim shirt with khaki’s, and pajamas with blanket wrapped around me!

Then I schedule my days according to how many clean (ish) pajamas and blanket outfits I have.

(It’s my best look.)

A few years ago I even made a 5th Rule for when I’m out shopping.

Rule #5

If I don’t understand it, I shouldn’t wear it! 

Is it a dress or a shirt?

Which hole does my head go in?

How do I get into it?

How do I take it off when I have to tinkle? (Yup. I just said Tinkle.)

This rule will save you BUCKETS of money AND you won’t see your teenager’s eyes roll back in their head when you pick them up from school.

(A girl can dream!)

Now that you’re equipped with my 4 5 Rules, check out this great Mission Organization Challenge to inspire you on your journey to Tame YOUR Closet Beast!

Make sure you tag me on Instagram with your closet pics…or your rule breaking #5 past purchases!

I’d love to connect with you!

You are More than Conquerers, friends!

Fall, you’re my favorite season.

Why won’t you show yourself?

Enough of this “am I having a hot flash or is it just still summer” weather!

Here’s what happened in my house when the calendar turned to September.

• I got super excited because it’s my Hashtag Favorite!!
• I stitched up a Pumpkin Pillow, took down mantle decorations from summer, and made a plan to transition clothing in preparation to the most wonderful time of the year… LEGGING Season!
• I made a Fall Wreath for the Front Porch.
• I stood outside to take pictures and practically MELTED because it’s 96 gosh darn degrees outside!
• I lashed out at Mother Nature for playing cruel jokes on my tender spirit!

The Struggle is Real!

It reminds me of the last weeks of pregnancy.

The bag’s packed for the hospital, the nursery is all set up, the stroller you bought is smarter than you are, and your thighs and ankles are the same size (IF you can see your ankles)BUT you are W.A.I.T.I.N.G. for this baby to head towards the light!!

Or… you’re in labor, pushing like you’re going for the Gold Medal, and The Kid gets STUCK!!

The Doctor says you need a c-section, the epidural has worn off, there’s a baby LODGED in your lady parts with NO HOPE of coming out, and you make sure everyone in the room knows “This isn’t funny anymore!” (True Story…I totally yelled that out!)

That’s how this season of my life feels.

The In-Between Season

One In-Between Season I know too well is towards the end of a deployment.

It feels like you’re living in slow motion!

They’re coming home soon, but aren’t home yet. All you can do is WAIT.

You have an outfit picked out, you’ve rearranged the furniture, and all that’s left to do is carry the phone around until you get  “The Call”.

The waiting is agonizing!

My BFF told me about a podcast episode from Rob Bell titled Seasons.

One of the points Rob Bell makes is the in-between season is uncomfortable because you’re transitioning into something new. Not quite there yet, but a shift is happening.

Yup…That’s me!

In-Between parenting a teenager that needs me less and less (except when he oversleeps or wants food) and trying on a new identity outside of Mom. It’s exciting, scary, stressful, and overwhelming. All at the same time!

“Enjoying the Process” and “Waiting with Grace” are NOT phrases that describe me!

I love completing a task, crossing things off my list, and taking a finished quilt OFF the machine! Feeling STUCK makes me uncomfortable. ( When I get my arm trapped in my sweater sleeve I start sweating and envision being trapped like that forever!)

Give me an epidural and Let’s Do This!

If the calendar says September, I expect Fall!

Is that too much to ask?

I need to get better at recognizing in-between is exactly where I’m supposed to be, no matter how uncomfortable I am.

If I wasn’t in-between seasons, I wouldn’t be asking myself questions I’ve avoided for 16 plus years.

Psalm 62:8 (ESV)

Trust in Him at all times, you people;

pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge.

I wouldn’t be seeking what God would have for me if I wasn’t struggling with the in-between.

Psalm 69:13 (ESV)

But as for me, my prayer is to you, O Lord.

At an acceptable time, O God,

in the abundance of your steadfast love

answer me in your saving faithfulness.

I can’t talk about seasons without mentioning the 1965 hit from The Byrds based on Ecclesiastes 3:1-8.

To everything (turn, turn, turn)

There is a season (turn, turn, turn)

And a time to every purpose, under heaven.

The In-Between is a season of it’s own.

Unfortunately, the decorations for the In-Between Season aren’t as cute as pumpkins, mums, and dried corn stalks…

What’s YOUR favorite season?

 “I’m in love- I’m in love- and I don’t care who knows it!” -Buddy The Elf

That’s how I feel about Fall.

Give me changing leaves, cooler temperatures, pumpkin anything, streusel topped apple pie, snuggling under a blanket by the fire and crock pot cooking.

Give me leggings, oversized sweaters and fuzzy socks! #alldaylong  (The more clothes I have on, the cuter I am! )

Did I ever tell you about my first experience with “skinny jeans”?

I went to buy a pair of boots to go over my “skinny jeans” but none of the boots I tried on looked right.

After 45 minutes of frustration I asked the sales girl, “What’s wrong? I can’t find a pair of boots that look right with my “skinny jeans.”

The salesgirl looked at me and said (very kindly), “Ma’am. It’s because your “skinny jeans” aren’t skinny enough.” (What she meant was the jeans I bought were not TIGHT to my legs)

Story of my Life!!!!

Now I stick to leggings and my muffin top thanks me for it!

With August coming to an end and Fall quickly approaching, I thought I’d share a list of things I’ve loved this month!

(*Full disclosure: None of the people or things I am going to talk about even know of my existence…Unless they’re on Instagram and I’ve attacked their feed with HEARTS and comments about drooling or swooning!!)

5 things I’m Falling in Love with this Month 

1. Time! I have 6 WHOLE hours one day a week that are MINE MINE MINE!! I’m shirking ALL of my adult responsibilities to savor every single minute up in my studio. Sewing, planning, touching fabric, and doing it in LEGGINGS!!

2. Podcasts!  I wear headphones while I sew and prefer audiobooks and podcasts instead of music. Two of my favorites this month are Sit and Sew Radio and While she Naps.

3. Getting Mail OTHER than bills! I signed up for a 3 month subscription to Stash Builder Box . Besides the excitement of getting FABRIC in the mail, 20% of the proceeds go to charity.

4. Getting my LongArm Quilting Groove back. I talked about Life Lessons I learned from LongArm Quilting and have spent a lot of time on my machine this month. I was on Pinterest (of course) and came across this skill builder template by Reannalily Quilts.

I posted pictures on Instagram of my work in progress and am really happy with how it turned out.

5. Instagram! Show me what you’re reading, creating, or learning with authenticity and I’m all in! Some of my favorites are @1915house, @melaniemredd, @sewsugarbeans, and @elizafaye.

These are just a few things I am loving right now.

September I will be FALLing madly, deeply, and completely!

I will be decorating my front porch, stitching up some Fall projects, and sharing an interview with y’all.

What are you FALLing in love with?